Tuesday, August 20, 2013

And God Said No

On June 6, 2013, I was called to serve an LDS mission.

Canada Vancouver Mission
October 30th
English Speaking

Everyday is a struggle. The feelings of inadequacy are growing stronger and stronger. Will I make it out there? Serving a mission is hard. There's not doubt about it. The thought of such a daunting task scares me to death. As I've started to try to wrap my heart around it, everything feels more complicated; gospel principles, scripture study, even prayer.

Then I got an INSPIRATIONAL letter from a close missionary friend. 

He has been out about 7 months. His companion has aspergers and training has been difficult. In his letter, he shared a poem he heard while in the MTC. 
Here it is:

I asked God to take away my pride
And God said no
He said it was not for Him to take away
But for me to give up,

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole
And God said no
He said his spirit is whole
And his body is only temporary,

I asked God to grant me patience
And God said no
He said patience is a bi-product of tribulation
It isn't granted, it's earned,

I asked God to give me happiness
And God said no
He gives me only blessings
Happiness is up to me,

I asked God to spare me pain
And God said no
He said suffering draws you apart from
worldly cares - and brings you closer to me,

I asked God to make my spirit grow
And God said no
He said I must grow on my own-
He will prune me and help me become fruitful,

I asked God if He loved me
And God said... Yes my child, more than you will ever know
He said He gave me His only son - who died for me,

I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me -
And God said "Finally, you have the idea!"

And like that... all my fears were wiped away.

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